Politisch korrekter Neujahrsgruß

Ein Neujahrsgruß, der uns aus Pakistan erreicht:
I wanted to send some sort of New Year/holiday greeting to my friends and colleagues, but it is so difficult in today’s world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So on the advice of my wife, who happens to be my attorney as well, I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the New Year holidays, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted Gregorian calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability or religious faith of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.
Take care!

Autor: Markus Hesselmann

Tagesspiegel-Korrespondent Markus Hesselmann über Britisches, Allzubritisches aus der Metropole des Pop, des Fußballs, der Kunst und der Politik.

Ein Gedanke zu „Politisch korrekter Neujahrsgruß“

  1. Das ist mal eine wirklich coole und kreative Idee! Guter Mann, der Mann! „…a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.“ :)) ich lieg unterm Tisch!

Kommentare sind geschlossen.